Walk like a llama

 Today there is a lot of things that could be written. It is 10:45 AM and I want to spend 15 min using my blog to pray for people. I also want to pray for myself and my kids. I think a specific theme every day would be good but the actual items prayed for variable. The theme of my brain. My new old brain.  Dear Lord, I was just interrupted by a text of someone offering me a pig. Thank you for understanding. I will restart the 15 min.  One idea is this: Monday: new beginnings, purpose, family, God's character/generosity. That was too much typing. Insert screenshot.  So:  Monday: new beginnings, purpose, family, God's character/generosity. I think this is really good. The reason I think it is good has been temporarily or permanently forgotten but I think it partly comes from the TV show shrinking. This show inspired me but also has affected my language negatively. I did just laugh out loud in a coffee shop and now some man behind me is loudly saying, "It's not fun...

 Well. Star Trek Prodigy is tapping into my nerd side and I think we are in for a good time.  Today's moment of laughter and hmmmm. The precious toddler was in full tilt remote control bumper car mode and got distracted by something and the next thing I know mini- Janel said,"wait, what was I doing?" We both thought for a minute and then remembered the bumper cars. Learning about yourself while watching your kids grow up is a real trip. Information overload in fact.  Oh Lord in heaven there is spider swimming under my neck in the bathtub. Spider moved to edge thanks to early exposure to "be nice to spiders."  I hope and think that Catrina is right. As we make choices toward intentional healthy parenting and ways of bearing our own loads in a healthy way we stand a good chance of giving our kids a leg up from where we started. In some cases as a nurture defeating nature scenario. I do think my parents gave me somewhat of a leg up. I had enough independence and pu...

When you try to sleep well and you dream you ARE a cat with FIV, when you go to the play place and a child poops their pants, when you try to take a nap and people chainsaw trees outside your window, when you go to the park and a child poops their pants, when you take them to a lake picnic and a child poops their pants, when you give up on pants because there isn't enough water to wash them and let them sweep cobwebs off the porch naked....clean them up and pack them up and go look for whales in the Siuslaw river. They won't be there but looking for them feels right. And you can talk about how whales don't have to wear pants and they just poop in the water.

 I guess the turn of the new year, my poor memory, and my appreciation of a good love story have me up too late missing my kids and feeling the deeper feelings possible from watching How I Met Your Mother. Again. I love the friendships, the struggles, the mistakes, and the weaving of one of the best love stories on tv. Rewatching the season showed me things I forgot. A real mess of a dude with enough dishonest moves that I couldn't remember why I ever thought so much of this series. But alas the seasons progress and the last season shows two people passing each other over the years, living their lives and purifying their individual friendships. Then they do flash forwards and flashbacks and reveal such a good and timely meeting of two hearts that had to wade through a lot of crap and growth to be ready for each other.  Love looks nice. It looks good on a few people I know. I would like to experience it one day on this earth in a healthy, worthwhile marriage partnership that is...

So many months have passed since I wanted to pause and blog! The creative mind is dormant. I have a few days of vacation and things have slowed down so I can write this blog that noone reads. Christmas with the kids the morning of December 26th was actually wonderful. They are the best muffins on the planet. Isabella has a cold and I'm dealing with one also but it didn't stop her from being a queen and a ballerina with some of the cutest moves possible.  There is some bird flu around that is a little scary as it is in some pet foods. The Boss movie is dumb. And this current movie about a stay at home mom who seems to be losing her mind might turn into a psycho thriller and I'll have to turn it off. The clueless travelling father is a classic stereotype. I don't like it that she is running into the forest after some dogs. This is creepy. Creepier by the minute. Hmm but she is returning to painting and including the child. Maybe taking a good turn.  David is less troubles...

 Six months have passed since I felt like blogging! It takes a special kind of peace. Or a special kind of unrest. Thankfully I'm in the former.  We got through the holidays marked by 6 weeks of chronic and periodically profound stress as the ex took the kids to 3 airbnbs/motels in 6 days and then pulled some last minute peace outs on his parenting time for 3 weeks in a row until finally shacking up with the new (new?) girlfriend and telling me during the kid's goodnite call with me that they were going to be living there during his time, name not allowed, meeting not allowed. Classy as most of his moves have been. I guess that is where 4 of the last 6 months went. Lawyer consults, private group parenting plan consults, emails, and a momma's heart trying to ride the ridiculous system our culture is prisoner to post-divorce, deal with costs associated, and most importantly be there for the kids and all of the confusion that comes out in words for a 6 year old and just confus...